QC Inner Circle Newsletter – May 2010
Mother’s Day is celebrated in May; therefore I think its only fitting that I dedicate the first edition of the QC Inner Circle newsletter to my beautiful mum.
My mum has always been my biggest cheerleader; she has always loved and supported me 100 percent.
The values my mum has taught me, the sacrifices she has made for me, and the confidence she has given me, have all contributed to making me the person I am today.
Mum has been there to lend a helping hand through an action packed month at QC Seminars.
The QC team have embarked on a series of NLP Practitioner training courses across the country and Roberta has been nominated for the Sony Ericsson: Australia’s Top Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award.
In this edition, I discuss the techniques a person should use when giving or receiving feedback and the importance of removing the word “try” from your vocabulary.
QC Inner Circle Newsletter
Earlier this week, Russell Crowe stormed out of a BBC radio interview after he took offence to a journalist’s feedback about his new film, Robin Hood.
The reporter said that Crowe’s performance left him with the impression that, “Robin Hood was an Irishman who took frequent holidays in Australia.”
Before making his exit, Russell retorted: “You’ve got dead ears, mate – seriously dead ears – if you think there’s an Irish accent.”
Now in my opinion, Russell Crowe is one the finest actors of his generation, however he would greatly benefit from learning how to receive feedback.
At one time or another, we are all on the receiving end of feedback or advice.
Sometimes it is because we have invited this feedback however, at other times we may receive uninvited feedback, simply because the provider feels that we could benefit from what they have to say.
So, what is the best way to receive feedback?
Be in a Resourceful state
The golden rule when receiving any type of feedback is to have a resourceful state of mind.
By being in a resourceful state, you will be better prepared to hear what is being proposed, to suggest alternatives and to get on with improving your life.
If you are interested in learning the techniques, which lead to a resourceful state of mind you should consider reading George Faddoul’s book, “How to get a Bigger Bite out of Life“ or taking an NLP training.
Remember there is no failure only feedback
Don’t get defensive as soon as someone offers you feedback.
You shouldn’t view feedback as a failure, instead you should approach it as an opportunity to grow and improve your life.
You do not have to agree with the feedback being offered, simply appreciate that the provider is wishing to assist you in some way.
Give Thanks for the feedback
What you do with the feedback and how you react is up to you.
You could argue against the advice given to you, but it would serve you better if you respected that it was presented with the intention of helping you.
Choose which parts, if any, of the feedback you will implement or explore further and then thank the provider for their advice.
It would also be highly beneficial to learn how to provide feedback.
Their needs to be some balance when providing feedback – let people know what they are doing well and also let them know where there is room for improvement.
This is where the sandwich comes into play, and no I am not talking about the BLT variety.
A constructive way to provide feedback is to use the feedback sandwich.
When using this technique, you sandwich any feedback that may be interpreted in some way as negative between positive comments.
Know the Context
Sometimes, in our attempt to be helpful, we provide feedback without fully understanding a person’s context or purpose.
Imagine if I built a sleek, high-powered vehicle with just a driver’s seat. Without knowing the context, you may criticize it as not being much of a family car. However, if the context (my intention) were to develop a state-of-the-art racing car, your initial feedback would be of no use.
Focus on Improvement Rather than Criticism
Feedback can often come across as criticism. To overcome this, identify the issue and then make suggestions on what the person can do differently next time to improve on what they are already doing well or to avoid potential difficulties.
For example, the journalist in the Russell Crowe interview could have approached the topic of accents in a completely different way by using the feedback sandwich.
The first slice of Bread in the sandwich could have been– Russell you gave a great performance in your recent role as Robin Hood.
The filing of the sandwich could have been – It must have been extremely challenging to master the quintessential English accent and I have heard that John Smith is a renowned voice coach that may make it less challenging for you next time.
And finally with the last bread slice the journalist could have ended on a positive note by saying, overall it was my favourite Robin Hood movie and I’ll be recommending it to all my friends.
The Jedi warrior, Yoda, once said, “Try not! Do or do not. There is no try.”
I so often hear people say, “I’ll try” but what does that actually mean?
It’s a word people use when they want to be successful at something, but they are afraid of failure.
Removing the word “try” from your vocabulary makes you instantly responsible for living up to your own expectations.
Imagine if Michael Jackson had just “tried” to become a singer.
He wouldn’t have practiced for HOURS each day to become one of the most well-known and imitated performers of his generation.
If a person expressed their dreams or goals with the word try, I would have to ask, “What sort of message is this person sending to their unconscious mind?”
Trying is a waste of energy.
Make a focused effort to do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.
When you make the conscious decision to really do something, your potential to succeed may just surprise you.
It’s just like Abraham Lincoln once said, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”
May the force be with you!
Quantum Change Seminars is pleased to announce that our very own Managing Director Roberta Faddoul has been nominated for Australia’s Top Young Entrepreneur Award.
Commenting on her nomination, Roberta said, “It is humbling to be recognized for doing something that I love.”
At just thirty-two, Roberta has taught thousands of students about neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
Her success and coaching company Quantum Change Seminars offers courses across the country and made it onto BRW’s Top 100 fastest growing companies list just four years after start-up.
To vote for Roberta Faddoul please visit http://www.news.com.au/business/the-future-makers then click BUSINESS and click Roberta Faddoul and “Submit your Vote.”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
— Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young graduate fresh out of University, “What starting salary are you expecting?”
The graduate said, “Somewhere in the region of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer responded, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and we will even throw in a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?”
The graduate sat up straight and with a big smile on his face he said, “Wow, that is incredible! Are you kidding?”
To which the interviewer replied, “Yes I am, but you started it.”