QC Inner Circle Newsletter – March 2011
A few years ago I was holidaying in Paris with friends when we decided to catch a show at the Moulin Rouge.
After the show we ended the night at a bar in Montmartre where I struck up a conversation with a fellow Aussie (whom I had never met before).
We soon discovered that we were both from Wollongong, we had attended the same university and we even had mutual friends.
I was a long way from home and it was nice to swap stories with someone who shared similar experiences to my own.
We were able to establish instant rapport.
Sometimes people find it difficult to get into rapport with each other… Do you remember that hilarious scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary at the “Tarts and Vicars” party?
Bridget isn’t told that the theme has been scraped and she attends the party in costume dressed as a bunny rabbit whilst everyone else is wearing normal party clothes.
This totally broke rapport. Thanks to her “wardrobe faux pas” poor Bridget ended up hiding from the party.
What is rapport?
Rapport is the foundation for any meaningful interaction between two or more people – e.g. a conversation with friends, family or work colleagues.
In order to be in rapport with someone, a person must establish an environment of trust, understanding, cooperation, responsiveness and respect in a relationship.
Rapport allows people to be in sync with each other; it allows a person to feel listened to and heard. It doesn’t mean that they have to agree with what the other person says or does, each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world.
When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective. This means that you will be able to feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the overall relationship.
What would we observe about people who are in rapport?
I’m sure you’ve noticed that when people enjoy being with each other, they have a tendency to use the same words or phrases, dress in a similar fashion, or have matching body language.
On the other hand, people who are not in rapport have different postures, gestures, voice tonality and they don’t make eye contact.
Next time you are in a restaurant I’d like you to observe your surroundings and you will easily see who is enjoying each other’s company and who isn’t.
I was recently having dinner with friends and I noticed a couple… and to say they weren’t in rapport would be putting it mildly.
They were sitting as far apart as possible, their eyes were focused on their plates and they were barely speaking to each other.
The ability to “mirror” and “match” a person’s behaviour is essential when establishing rapport – this involves body language, voice tonality, language etc. The first thing to do is to become more in sync with the other person by matching and mirroring their behaviour.
Mirroring: To mirror someone you must accurately match aspects of someone else’s behaviour and physiology, in order to strengthen rapport. The best way to describe “Mirroring” is to think of it like you are looking into a mirror ie: if the other person’s right hand is up, you put your left hand up.
Matching: is the opposite of mirroring. To match the same person who has raised their right hand, you would also raise your right-hand…
I suggest you practice your rapport skills… test yourself with family and friends and see the results for yourself!
NLP Certifcation Training Series
The QC Seminars training series has been a HUGE success this month! We’ve had record crowds and we are one step closer to reaching our goal of certifying 11,000 students in 2011. We are in the middle of our NLP Scholarship series and have been to Brisbane, Perth and now in Sydney with Melbourne at the end of the month.
Our SOLD OUT NLP Scholarship Certification Training in Brisbane @ The Gabba!
Belinda, Julie, Nick and Dan!
Julie, Nitsa and Roberta
Nitsa and Nick
Nitsa and Julie
Julie and George
QC Name our Fish Competition: Bert and Ernie
QC Seminars received over 100 competition entries on our Fan Page (http://
www.facebook.com/qcseminars ) for the Name our Fish Competition and the entire
team had a great time picking a winner.
Congratulations to Jodie Edom from WA for her winning entry – She suggested the
names Bert and Ernie.
QC Seminars CEO Roberta said, “I thought it was a fitting tribute to my favourite
TV show when I was a kid … I loved Sesame Street and Bert and Ernie were my
favourites! (They reminded me of my best friend Daria and I).”
Jodie has won a double pass to La Premiere at Hoyts Cinema and a $200 dinner
voucher to be used at her favourite restaurant.
We were so impressed with the imaginative entries that we just had to list some
- Daryl Wong suggested Dim and Sim “because they are not as dim as they
- Alex Ross suggested Petit and Prince from the best-selling book, “The Little
Prince” by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
- Andrew Lim suggested Thelma & Louise “if they are free-spirited, with a
Like any great competition – Everybody was a winner! Each entrant received a FREE download featuring an interview by International NLP Trainers George Faddoul and Nick LeForce.
To keep up to date with the latest QC news and events simply LIKE the official Quantum Change Seminars Fan Page http://www.facebook.com/qcseminars
Bert and Ernie chilling out in their castle
Dissociated State or Dissociation experiencing something as a detached observer, ie: looking at yourself (your whole body) in the picture as if holding and looking at a photograph of yourself doing something, or seeing yourself in a movie screen, or looking at yourself in the distance. As opposed to being ‘in’ the experience, looking through your own eyes as in being Associated. Being dissociated tends to reduce the feelings you would have had, had you actually been in the experience.
“Don’t be someone else’s slogan because you are poetry.”
— Gwen Cummings (Sandra Bullock) from the film 28 Days
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?”
Watson said: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes: “And what does that tell you?”
Watson: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes: “Somebody stole our tent.”
Do you have any jokes or humorous stories you’d like to share?
Email them to the QC Team and stay tuned to see if they make the next newsletter.